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Writer's pictureLeslie Paramore

Robbing Yourself



Have you ever imagined winning the lottery? Chances are, everyone at one time or another has entertained the idea of having unlimited amounts of money. Some may have deeply meditated on those perfect numbers that would attract millions of dollars their way. They may have had the best intentions, casting all selfishness aside, promising the Universe that they'd share their portion of inheritance with others, if granted their one and only wish. Some may have been carried away with obsessive ways to attract money, like creating vision boards of every kind that adorn their entire wall, while intently staring at all of them for exactly 11 minutes, every day at precisely 11:11pm . . . BUT then . . . nothing happens!



Now you are here reading this, perhaps hoping for some answers to the million-dollar question, "Why can't I have it all?" You are still working a 9-5 job, fighting traffic, paying a never-ending pile of unwanted bills, living from paycheck to paycheck and caught up in the monotonous rat race we call life! It's truly exhausting! To the participant, being human means chasing the external world, in order to blindly find some sense of reward for labors rendered. Once individuals finally obtain that car, that house, that vacation, or that million-dollar ticket, they may find themselves in a temporary state of what may feel like happiness or contentment for a few months. Then, without any real announcement, you obsessively reach for the next adrenaline fix, which eventually loses its false sense of thrill. Living a life of needing and wanting this or that, can be a troublesome addiction, that is never really ever satisficed. It would seem that putting yourself out there has resulted in nothing substantial, or even when you seem to have it all, it's never quite enough.



Okay, so maybe winning the lottery hasn’t been your focus, and maybe you're not materialistic like other people. Maybe you really do have the best of intentions with attracting meaningful things in your life and also within the lives of others. Maybe you consider yourself completely separate from the insanity of the world. You've may have even created an island of spiritual dreams and visions that you're willing to share with the world. Maybe you've even won volunteer of the year award ten times in a row. You're so good, it's almost too good to be true. Yet . . . you face the same dilemma as the rest of the world. For some reason the energy behind your thoughts seem to be running backward, with no real traction gaining, in creating want you think you want. You are no closer to your dreams today than you were yesterday. You are at a standstill. You've bargained yourself away without even realizing it.



Much of our dreams are merely stretched out fantasies of the egoic mind, reaching, grasping pleading, begging, bargaining, or other intruding behaviors that undermine who we truly are and what we are capable of being. Our egoic minds tend to hyper focus on the external things that our hearts are not truly connected to. Deep down, in your subconscious mind, you know that winning the lottery may be too good to be true; that nothing really great ever happens for you. If you are honest with yourself, despite all the attempts at manifesting your dreams, you may feel underserving or unworthy of such things. Despite your genuine manifesting efforts, these feelings of inner doubt are what you are REALLY saying to the universal realms, through your core belief systems. Your subconscious mind has been running on a program that you haven't even been aware of . . . until now. You have literally been fooling yourself, without even knowing it.


So how do we shift this trap of the ego that many seem to be unknowingly enrolled in? How do we escape the maze of our minds, and free ourselves from delusions of external grandeur? How do we disconnect from the matrix of wanting or feeling like we need this or that, often offering false feelings of success . . . and who or what constitutes the definition of success anyway?



The truth is, co-creating our dreams requires focused loving intention from the beginnings of our heart, not the ever-yapping egoic mind that ping pongs back and forth between our wandering thoughts. The inner workings of your heart is that part of you that more than likely has been in a sleepy hibernation, as the winters of your life have been parading aimlessly around in your mind. Every human being was born with this divine portion of us completely in tack. It's that part of us that was once carefree, loving, trusting, and energized with a beautiful light that connected us to everything and everyone. Most times when we peer deeply into the eyes of any infant, we can see a glimpse of it. Their beautiful energy reminds us of how we use to be, and this is why it can feel like the deepest corridors of our hearts are literally melting when we are privelidged to behold these beautiful souls, housed in a human body



Now think about the outpouring of love that you would offer any child to bless them to the fullest capacity of their hearts which is unlimited. Truthfully, there is nothing in the external world that you could offer them that could add to what they already are. They are complete in every sense of the word, yet they are here to experience themselves in physical form and to master the art of creating the life around them. Keeping this in mind, what's keeping you from offering yourself the same opportunities? What's keeping you from creating the most beautifully abundant life that you so richly deserve? The real question is, what constitutes the definition of what is considered rich?



My dad was born poor, suffered unmentionable abuse by his stepfather, got kicked out of the house at the age of 16. He was thrown to the wolves of the world and left to pick up the shattered pieces of his life. Despite his rough start and unfortunate childhood circumstances, he became a very successful businessman. He built a computer business from the ground up, that spanned across several provinces in Canada and employed many individuals. He didn't let his past predetermine his future. He didn't blame his past or anyone for what he could consciously choose for his life. He was determined to make his life work, no matter what. I know in his heart he had determined that no child of his would be subjected to such things, so he worked hard to provide for his children.



Due to my dad's sheer determination, I lived in a wealthy family, yet we lived quite meagerly. My dad knew firsthand that giving us everything we wanted would not serve us or benefit us in the long run. He taught us the value of moral ethics, honesty, integrity, and accountability for our lives. I am incredibly thankful for those foundational tools that have supported me in building a life that is abundantly rich on so many levels. The riches I speak of now, are peace, love, joy, forgiveness, and the deep ability to feel empathy for others. These are the elements of life that sustain me daily; that give me passion and purpose.



So, the truth is, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I too went through my own struggles as an adult finding her way into the world, yet like my dad, I refused to give those painful times in my life, power over my destiny and the truth already shining within me. You see, there are those who will rob you of truly knowing yourself, including your false self, if you let them, therefore, I give no power to the pain, the disappointments, the betrayals, the infidelities, or anything that showed up in my life to claw away at the deepest spaces of my knowing heart. After I could no longer stand the pain of my creations, I said goodbye. I said to myself and those who played the perfect roles for me, "Thank you for the lessons learned. Thank you for showing me everything I was not." I closed the curtain and took a bow. I said goodbye to my old self and those once shattered portions of my life and my false identity."


The wolves are out there and also within our own egoic minds, trying to claw their way into the spaces of the beginnings of our inner knowing heart. When we let them in, and carelessly give them our power, it can cause us to build walls around our heart, where we refuse to let anyone in. I know. I was once there, imprisoning myself, excluding myself, and excusing myself from making my unique mark in the world. For a moment in time, I had forgotten myself, as we all have at one time or another. Today, I offer myself, what I would offer or teach any deserving child; self-love, self-forgiveness, empathy, compassion, understanding and permission to be unapologetically me, foot loose and fancy free.



Now that we've put it out there, we are left with no one to turn to but the one looking back at us in the multilayered mirrors of life. We are the co-creators of our lives, right along with everyone else. We are the destiny unfolding through each and every experience of our choosing. What are you creating through your magnificent heart? What could possibly be getting in the way of what you totally deserve right in this moment of time? The truth is everything in life is an inside job. We hold the power to choose how we will receive and perceive the makings of our lives.



The good news is, the energies of the Universe within always say, "Yes," to the gradual return of our once hibernating heart. It's not always easy, however, our personal and collective experiences are always worth it, as we make room for what is infinitely real and magnificently rich; that being love, compassion, empathy, understanding and forgiveness. It is by practicing these things that your own heart will be more prepared to fully receive the riches of all that life has to offer.



Are you ready to truly create what you deserve? Is the timing of your heart turned on? Have you detached from the outcomes, placing yourself in the space of allowing? In other words, do you fully trust in the loving hands of the Universe to co-create beautiful outcomes with you? Do you trust yourself and the child within that deserves that moon and every wish ever made upon a star? If you have answered yes to these questions . . . then relax. Trust that the desires of your heart are now coming to you because it's created by you and for you from the inside out. You are a divine creator and infinite being that existed long before you came to this physical plane of reality. Trust in the infinite knowing of your heart and the powerful energy that it holds to create the dreams that already belong to you.






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